INTRO
Religion is something that I've been struggling with for a very, very long time. I try my hardest to cope with it's presence, and I want to journal about my struggles and journey. This remains a space that I will be using to collect and organize my thoughts. I know that religion can be a huge trigger for a lot of people, which is why it has its own seperate blog! (This is vent central BTW!)
To put a little bit of background onto this, I was raised catholic. Not super, super catholic but catholic enough to give me some issues. It's hard to seperate the idea of the holy father from the idea of your own human one, you know? I think that my relationship with my father directly influcenced my relationship with God. I mean, when both are reffered to as your father of course there's a point where a kid's mind will blend them. But when your father is a pos it's hard to try and comprehend the idea that God is loving, and kind, and willing to forgive.
As a kid forgiveness wasn't necessarily even taught to me. So yea, religion is really, really hard for me. And thats okay. I will eventually grow with it, and come to terms with whatever I'm dealing with. It will just take time, and I really, really need to remember that these days. Growth takes time and effort, and that's hard when one sturggles with stuff like depression and anxiety. Stuff has happened in my personal life super recently thats also making me super upset in general so maybe trying to tackle this rn isn't the strat.
